You will not get very far if you do not regain confidence in yourself after losing it.
Having confidence in yourself is essential so that you can grow and advance in life; it will lead you to make better decisions, take leaps of faith when necessary, and take the steps you need to achieve your goals, but Easier said than done.
The problem with security is that it depends on many factors, and some things can completely overwhelm it, making us feel inadequate, like we are not enough, or stuck in the same place as always. The good thing is that psychology has some proposals that can work to recover confidence or build security or not lose it in those moments when things are not going as well as we would like.
Ann Howell, an industrial and organizational psychology expert, wrote in the Harvard Business Review that it’s normal to experience trust and security issues, but this is something we can change or improve if we have the right tools.
According to the expert, there is a method made up of 2 steps that help us have security and regain confidence through self-knowledge and a change in our narrative of ourselves.
How to be safe (or regain confidence if you’ve lost it), according to Harvard
The first step is to connect with yourself.
According to the expert, this consists of realizing that we are all different and have something to contribute in any situation (she gives as an example the case of a co-worker who had experience in theater, which helped find a solution to the communication problems in your work team). The first thing to do is breathe a little and think about those internal things that we have that are different from those of others.
You can discover this by reviewing your past, experiences, tastes, or hobbies, so you can identify those vital points that can help you stand out or make better contributions in whatever you do, not just at work. Recognizing the strengths, instead of focusing on the negative, is an excellent element in regaining confidence and security.
The second step is to develop safe behaviors.
Howell says we have to change our behavior; to do that; we have to start small. It is about looking for small challenges that take you out of your comfort zone and lead you to achieve your goals so that, little by little, you can dominate those things that make you insecure.
Also, this should be a conscious effort, where every day, you make sure to do something that feels a bit challenging and helps you build what you want until this becomes a habit and something you can even do without having to think about it a lot.
Finally, the expert says that you have to be patient; no problem is going to be solved overnight, so you have to start working on this, knowing that it is a process and that each step you take, even if it is small, it will help you in the long run. Also, if you follow the process, you can discover more things about yourself that you will like or add to that security and help you regain confidence.
On the other hand, Harvard Health has other tricks that it recommends to achieve greater security and regain confidence.
- Learn something new (be it a language, play an instrument, a skill, or a subject that you did not know)
- Have physical challenges (try hiking, having a more intense routine, or trying a new sport)
- Have connections (your friends, family, and people you trust will help keep you safe)
- Take care of your appearance (when you look good, you feel good)