Low Self Esteem: Do you sometimes not like yourself? Do you often compare yourself to others and feel like a failure? Then you probably lack the self esteem that is so important to be happy and successful in life.
People with low self esteem find it challenging to accept and respect themselves. Your perception of yourself significantly impacts your professional and private relationships.
A wise saying goes:
“You can’t love another person if you don’t first learn to love yourself”.
Self-love and self-respect have nothing to do with ego but are an expression of healthy self esteem. To respect yourself and with all your strengths, You can learn to accept weaknesses, and in this article, you will learn how to overcome low self esteem and develop positive self esteem.
Self Esteem Definition: What Does It Mean?
What is self esteem? Self-respect is often referred to as self-respect. This term is often described as self-love, self-confidence, self-esteem, or self-assessment. Values such as pride, self-respect and self-confidence are often compared or confused with one another. All in all, it’s about respecting ourselves, perceiving ourselves mindfully and, above all, accepting ourselves as we are.
Appreciating and accepting yourself is by no means arrogant or selfish. On the contrary, we can only confidently deal with our weaknesses and recognize our own mistakes if we fundamentally accept and respect each other. However, a lack of self-esteem can lead us to develop inferiority complexes, feel weak and imperfect, and constantly compare ourselves to others.
Self esteem is essential for achieving life goals, forming friendships, and maintaining stable relationships. One of the crucial prerequisites for accepting oneself is the warm appreciation of oneself. On the other hand, low self-esteem usually leads to self-rejection. If you reject yourself, consciously or unconsciously, you will probably constantly wonder what other people think of you. You will feel disadvantaged and, as a result, will have little success in private or professional projects. Low self esteem damages our mental and physical well-being.
The most common causes of low self-esteem
The leading causes of low self esteem lie in childhood. Events and experiences at home that we have in the first seven years of life shape us for the rest of our lives. Other reasons that can lead to low self esteem include:
- Too little parental care
- loneliness
- Strict upbringing
- reprimands and penalties
- Problematic parent-child relationship
- neglect or experiences of violence
Parents are the most important caregivers for their children. Our parents’ parenting styles can also influence our self-esteem. A rigorous upbringing with frequent sanctions leads to a negative self-image of ourselves. It is challenging to learn self-respect when, as a child, one is blamed and punished for every little mistake.
Adverse experiences in early childhood are a significant source of low self esteem. In an unstable parent-child relationship, no natural bond develops, and those affected find it difficult to enter into loyal relationships later in adulthood. Children who have been criticized too much and not enough praise tend to have low self esteem.
Other possible reasons for low self esteem are neglect, abuse and sexual abuse both in childhood and in a partnership. The feeling that your parents love you unconditionally, even when you make mistakes, is one of the essential prerequisites for developing healthy self-esteem. Positive regard helps in personality development. What is there but self-respect? Well, self-esteem is dependent on the personal opinion you have about yourself.
Can you learn self-respect?
Learning to accept yourself is possible at any stage of life. However, it is not easy to silence the “inner critic” who tries to convince us that we are not up to the standards of others. Do you have low self esteem? Find out for yourself and answer the following questions spontaneously and honestly!
- 1. Do you feel inferior?
- 2. Do you tend to think negatively about yourself?
- 3. Are you generally dissatisfied with your performance?
- 4. Do you sometimes feel useless?
- 5. Do you often think that you are worth nothing?
- 6. Would you like more self-respect?
If you answered “yes” to one or more of these questions, you probably lack the self-esteem you need to achieve your goals in life and find happiness!
How do you spot people with low self esteem?
You can tell people with low self esteem by their behaviour. Typical patterns of behaviour that indicate a lack of self-esteem are:
- vying for attention
- envy and resentment
- take criticism as a personal attack
- avoid decisions
Vying for attention
Often people with low self esteem are addicted to attention. They constantly want to be the centre of attention because they think they will not be noticed otherwise. With this behaviour, however, they are far removed from true self-confidence.
Envy and resentment
Resentment and envy indicate low self esteem. If you can’t love and respect yourself, you can’t begrudge other people about their successes or celebrate them with them.
Take criticism as a personal attack
Criticism is essential to avoid mistakes and improve things. People who cannot accept criticism and who view every criticism as a personal attack usually have little self-esteem.
Avoid decisions
Making decisions means taking responsibility. Without self-confidence, important decisions are often postponed or avoided because one fears making mistakes or making wrong decisions. In management and coaching, decisiveness is essential. Appreciative self-respect and self-reflection will help you assess a situation objectively and make the right decision.
10 tips to boost your self-esteem
How do I get my self-esteem back? Are you probably wondering now? Building self-esteem is the first step to increasing self-confidence and self-esteem. It’s important to realize that the inner voice that seems to criticize us constantly has no bearing on our lives. At the latest, in adulthood, we decide for ourselves what is good for us. The following tips are designed to help you build your self-esteem.
- 1. Be kind to yourself
- 2. Be gentle with yourself and accept your weaknesses
- 3. Make a list of your positive qualities
- 4. Keep a positive journal
- 5. Learn to say no
- 6. Think positive
- 7. Focus on opportunities, not problems
- 8. Enjoy compliments
- 9. Stop negative thoughts
- 10. Set realistic goals and reward yourself for success
Have you ever asked yourself: How do I get more self-esteem? Even confident people sometimes have trouble valuing themselves. To improve your self-esteem, you should be kind to yourself. Be good to yourself and treat yourself like you would treat your very best friend when she needs your help and support. Every person has strengths and weaknesses and recognizing this is the most crucial step in gaining self-esteem.
Also Read: The Harvard trick to regain confidence in yourself after losing it
Reinforce your positive qualities
Make a list of all your positive qualities. It may be difficult for you to recognize your advantages at first. Take time to reflect on becoming aware of the valuable attributes that make you a unique personality.
A proven way to build self-esteem is to keep a positive journal. In this chronicle, you write down all the positive events you experienced during the day. You will be amazed at how extensive the documentation will be after just a few days! We recommend some beautiful meditation on self-love and strong self-confidence to strengthen the new, positive thoughts.
Learn to say no when you feel taken advantage of and everything is getting too much for you. Self-respect also means knowing your limits and not pushing yourself too far. Thinking positively gets you further in life! Banish negative thoughts and try to concentrate on beautiful experiences when your inner voice once again suggests failures.
Focus on your opportunities and not on problems. Remember that for every situation, there is a solution. Enjoy the compliments you get from others. Forget the negative thought merry-go-round and self-deprecating psychology if you want to improve your self-esteem. Set realistic goals and reward yourself for success every time!
These 8 sayings will improve your self-acceptance
Self-acceptance is the essential requirement for more self-respect. Silence your inner critic with a lighthearted line. This will make you feel better and go through life more self-confident and elation. The following 8 sayings should serve as inspiration for you to sustainably improve your self-acceptance:
- 1. I particularly like this quality about myself
- 2. I am right the way I am
- 3. Nobody is perfect. Me neither. But I’m terrific!
- 4. I believe in myself and my abilities
- 5. To err is human
- 6. Positive thoughts are like a bridge leading to the future
- 7. Life has a lot of good things to offer me
- 8. I am enthusiastic about myself
Self Esteem Exercise
Self-esteem can be learned, and some effective practices can lay the groundwork for greater self-esteem. If you can accept and appreciate yourself, you will trust yourself more and appear more secure privately and professionally. With the following exercise, you can strengthen your self-acceptance and improve your self-esteem:
Take responsibility and learn to make conscious decisions. By taking on small, responsible tasks, you prove to yourself and others that you can achieve something and take responsibility for it. At the same time, you overcome your fear of failure and the fear of the unknown. Just dare and take on small tasks at work, at home, in your sports group or in your free time that require responsible action. These tasks can be, for example:
- Fix something in the house
- Trying out a new recipe
- To volunteer for a professional project that requires expertise
- Prepare a meeting independently
- Give a speech to the staff
Good self-esteem examples also include:
- Don’t try to please everyone
- Know your values
- Always speak positively about yourself
- Consistently pursue your goals
- Trust your self-awareness
Conclusion
The value of a person is independent of their achievements and abilities. However, many have not internalized this and measure their worth by how others perceive them or what external key figures they have achieved in life. If one does not live up to the standards that apply in society, low self esteem can be the result. But this can be strengthened well and effectively with the help of the above practical tips. This leads to a low probability that self-esteem can be jeopardized again. And the great thing about building self-acceptance is that anyone, without exception, can learn and do it.